Today I attempted to uncover the great Colombian pizza mystery. For those of you who don’t know what this is, I’m referring to the criminal under-using of tomato sauce on Colombian “pizzas.” It went something like this: I go into my neighborhood pizza shop and order a slice of chicken and mushroom pizza; because the guy is young and cute (and I’m young and cute) I thought maybe he’d be able to give me some answers. So I approach him while he’s making a pizza and the following ensues:
Me: So is tomato sauce expensive or something here?
Him: What is it, my love? (Things going well to this point)
Me: Well, I’ve noticed pizza places here don’t put much tomato sauce on their pizzas. So I thought maybe it’s really expensive here.
Him: This is not tomato sauce.
Me: What is it?
Him: Tomato paste. Tomato sauce is what you put on hamburgers. This is much more potent and highly concentrated than tomato sauce. You only need a little.
Me: Well, I’m just asking because in the United States, restaurants usually put a lot of tomato sauce on their pizza.
Him: Tomato sauce is what you put on hamburgers. This is much more potent and highly concentrated than tomato sauce. You only need a little.
Me: Yes, I meant TOMOTO PASTE. I’m just used to eating pizza with more TOMATO PASTE.
Him: Well, m’am, too much TOMATO PASTE can cause an upset stomach, gastritis (no idea what this is in English but everyone in Colombia suffers from this) and other problems. It’s too heavy.
In the end, he refused to acknowledge that maybe Colombian pizzas could use a little extra tomato sauce/paste. And I left the shop apologizing for daring to question his pizza preparation skills.
That’s what I’ve discovered so far. I’ll keep you updated. I can’t wait to go home and eat real pizza, dripping with tomato sauce and cheese.