On Friday night I went out with my friend Courtney. After drinking beer at a bar and aguardiente at a club, we headed to Courtney’s friend’s house, where we met Mahatma. Despite his name, Mahatma is entirely Colombian; his dad just happened to be a big fan of Gandi. At this party I learned that despite being Colombian, Mahatma is not the smoothest talker. Unlike other Colombian guys whose pickup lines include the likes of “your eyes are like shooting stars,” Mahatma’s line to me was: “Hey there. Everyone is talking to Jane Doe because she’s so beautiful. All the men want to be with Jane Doe because she’s the most beautiful woman here. So I’m going to talk to you instead.”
Mahatma did not understand when I told him that this was not the best tactic to pick up a lady, as no woman wants to be seen as the unattractive, desperate friend who should be thankful that any guy is hitting on her at all.
Later that night Mahatma asked for my number. Mahatma did not get my number.