I’m currently collecting research for some upcoming posts on D.C, so I decided to take a break to address the most popular search terms that lead readers to my blog. Most of these have to do with Colombian men, so my blog will briefly be revisiting my days in Colombia. I am by no means an expert on Colombian men, but I think my time and experiences in Colombia make me knowledgeable on the subject. I think there are good Colombian guys and bad Colombian guys and I will try to offer my insights into some of the specific cultural intricacies of dating a Colombian man. So here it goes, by search term:
Colombian Pickup Lines: So many. Where do I start? If you mean Colombian pickup lines as you walk down the street, you can expect romantic terms such as: Mamita, mami, mamasota, gordita (fatty, but in a nice way), mona (used for whitish person) negrita (used for brown person), estas muy linda (you’re beautiful), estas muy buena (looking good), que ojos, Dios Mio (My God, what eyes!), que culaso mamita! (What an ass, Mama). If you are looking for pickup lines, rest assured…you’ll get plenty thrown your way, especially if you happen to be a blonde-haired, light-eyed foreigner, which pretty much makes you a beauty queen in Colombia. I am, of course, speaking from a woman’s perspective (a mona, gordita with a large culaso, perspective, that is)…I’m not too what kind of pickup lines Colombian women use on men, just that they probably end in –ito or -tico. You can read more about my experience with Colombian men and pickup lines here, here, here, here and here.
Anyone have any other memorable lines to contribute?
Why are Colombian men so mean? I don’t know that I would use the world “mean” to characterize Colombian men. I can’t say I ran into all that many mean ones. Well, unless we’re talking about criminals…I did get held up by some mean guys on a bus once. In general, at least in Bogota, I found everyone, both men and women, to be overly polite. A guy could be telling you that he killed his grandma the night before but he would tell the story with the utmost politeness. If anything was tough for me to handle in Colombia, it was that politeness didn’t always result in action. What I mean by this is that Colombians will often agree to things (meeting up later, calling you, helping you out with something, hanging out, etc) because they think it would be rude to say no…but they have absolutely no intention of following through. This can be hard for an American to take. So my advice would be not too take it to personally when you meet a great group of people, there’s a great connection, you make plans to go to Uncle Pepe’s farm “sometime soon” and then you never hear from them again. I guess this could be called mean if you’re not used to it.
I would also say Colombian men tend to view cheating differently than American guys (they generally seem more OK with it) so I suppose that could be considered mean. I guess this is just part of machista culture. I know it happens in the U.S too, but I feel like it’s not as overt. Also, there does seem to be a lot of domestic, sexual and verbal abuse within intimate relationships, especially among less educated populations, but I don’t think I knew enough Colombian men well enough to call them mean as a group.
Colombian boyfriend: If you are an expat living in Colombia, you will likely find a number of eligible (and non-eligible) bachelors lined up to be your boyfriend. What can I say about Colombian boyfriends? I am perhaps not the best person to ask because my Colombian relationship experiment didn’t go so well, but I can say this: 1.) He likely lives with his mother; 2.) If he works for a company he probably hates having a boss and wants to “work for himself,” 3.) His terms of endearment and affection may make you cringe and if any American guy said these things to you you’d probably think it was a joke (you can see a friend’s post on Colombian corniness here.); 4.) He is gentlemanly in a way very few Americans are (although this doesn’t always extend to actually paying for dates).
Because my Colombian boyfriend experiment didn’t exactly work out for the best, I decided to talk to a friend who recently married her Colombian boyfriend (he seems like a good one) and this is what she said:
1. You will learn how to salsa, no matter what.
2. The success of your relationship is dependent on the opinion la suegra (mother-in-law) has of you.
3. It’s easy to get used to being called “Princesa.”
4. Maybe he’s not a “cheater,” maybe he won’t cheat on you, but chances are he’s cheated.
5. Learn to like cooking, because he’s certainly not going to do it.
Another expat friend who had a Colombian boyfriend reminded me that “Not everyone matches the stereotypes. At the end of the day, you’re not dating a nationality, you’re dating another person.” Wise words.
Colombian men are the best. As much as I love Colombians (I am one, after all), this may be wishful thinking. There are good ones, there are bad ones and there are mediocre ones. Like men from any other nationality, Colombian men have their good points and their bad points. For example, he might make you feel like a queen, except you may be paying for all the dates (Mi amor, tu sabes que aqui la situacion de trabajo es bien dificil) or he may be treating lots of ladies like queens (Amorcito, ella no significaba nada, tu eres la mujer de mi vida, perdoname). I find that men are men all over the world, some are just more straightforward than others.
What do Colombian men tend to expect in romantic relationships: In general, I found that Colombian men tended to expect more pampering and affection than American men. Women seem to be more attentive to their men (think siestica when Papito is tired, cafesito
when Papito wakes up) I also found that Colombian men tend to expect their lady to look good most of the time (hair done, nails done, makeup, nice clothes) and looks in general are more important than in the U.S. I don’t know if American guys secretly wish their girlfriends took better care of themselves but have been forced into silence out of political correctness, but it was definitely more overt in Colombia. When I was dating m ex, he would actually say things like “when are you getting your nails done?” I can’t imagine an American guy even noticing if my nails were painted. Bogota is not the kind of place you will see women wearing sweatpants, unless they are on their way to the gym (and even then these will be exercise clothes, not the baggy American variety — and don’t be surprised to see perfect hair and makeup). I think co-dependency, emotional outbursts and dramatics are also more tolerated. This was a bad habit I picked up in Colombia that’s probably not going to go over so well when/if I start dating a non-Colombian. Of course, a Colombian man will generally expect complete fidelity from his girlfriend, even if he himself is the world’s biggest mujeriego (womanizer) Otherwise, Colombian guys expect what any other guy would expect: Love, support and attention.
When does a Colombian man go to work? A great question. If he can avoid working for somebody he will. This may result in multiple entrepreneurial and business attempts, not all of them successful. In general, I found that both men and women tend to enter the workforce at a later age than Americans. You don’t see too many teenagers with an after school job, though I think this may have to do as much with an overall depressed job market as it does with Colombian culture. I did find that some Colombians would rather not work than take on a job that was “beneath them,” and long periods of unemployment seem to be more acceptable and/or tolerated than in the U.S. For the most part, a Colombian man will go to work when he finishes high school or college, though perhaps not right away. And I must say that I did notice that there seems to be a special breed of Colombian men who can never quite find a job that treats them right. This type of guy ends up living with his Mamita for life in pursuit of the perfect job. I recommend you stay away from this kind of guy (or at least avoid a relationship you hope will end in marriage) because the chances of him leaving his Mom’s house for the real world are very slim. What motivation does he possibly have to leave when she is doing his laundry, making him sudaditos everyday and treating him like the prince of Bogota? He knows modern Bogota women aren’t going to do this for him, so Mom is always going to win. You can read about the Colombian mother-son dynamic here. Remember, I’m stereotyping — this doesn’t apply to everyone.
I want to know about Colombian guys: I suggest you check out my “Colombian Men” category on the right. Also, hopefully the above answers have been helpful.
For more information about Colombian men, click here.