I’m Pregnant with a Colombian Man

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve done one of these and because I have nothing in particular to write about today, I figured I might as well discuss some of the most popular search terms that lead to my blog. So here it goes, the top search terms over the last seven days:

1.) Colombian men: There’s just no getting away from this, is there? It seems my blog will forever be a source of information about Colombian men. Ladies, all I can say is check out my Colombian men category on the right. And if you have any Colombian men-related questions I haven’t answered, feel free to send me a private message for more candid commentary.

2.) Prostitution in Panama/Colombian prostitutes in Panama: There are lots. However, I am not an expert so I’m afraid I can’t offer any further advice/information.

3.) Why online dating is bad: I don’t think it’s necessarily “bad.” There are, of course, some bad parts. For example, someone can seem perfectly perfect on paper, but then you meet them in real life and there’s an utter lack of physical chemistry. What I’ve learned is that there are two kinds of chemistry in this new digital world: Written chemistry/attraction (I’ve come to enjoy witty, intelligent message exchanges) and physical chemistry/attraction (attraction, where are you?). However, it recently dawned on me that I may have unrealistic expectations. Well, it didn’t really dawn on me. Someone else dawned it for me. Someone, I can’t remember who, asked me if I expected to be swept off my feet the first time I meet a guy. I thought about it, and yes, I guess I kind of do. I should probably be more “realistic,” whatever that means, but I’ve found that my November breakup actually made me more, not less, of a romantic.

If I had to pick reasons someone might describe online dating as bad I’d say it’s the creepy messages you’re bound to get, that it’s a rather unnatural way to meet people and the fact that people tend to exaggerate their positive attributes and minimize their negative attributes. You can read more about my online dating experiences here.

4.) I’m pregnant with a Colombian man: Oh shit. Good luck getting your baby daddy to move out of his mama’s house.

5.) Legal to wear a thong on the Shenandoah River? Well, apparently so, if my recent camping trip is any indication.

6.) Camping sucks: No it doesn’t. Camping is fun. Although it is much harder work than I remembered.

7.) Not be creepy online dating: I’m not sure if these searchers want to know about online dating creepiness in general or if they themselves want to avoid being creepy. Whatever the case, you can read about my personal experiences with online dating creepiness here.

8.) D.C changing so quickly: I assume this refers to the economic, social, green, and ethnic shifts going on in D.C. You can read my entries on D.C here and if you want a more expert opinion, here’s an interesting Washington Post article on racial changes going on in D.C.

9.) My Colombian Mother-in-law is evil: That’s a shame. Mine was great. Her son? Not so much. I’m not sure there’s anything that can really be done in this situation. I’ve blogged before about Colombian men and their mothers and let me tell you, it’s an interesting relationship. No matter how great you are, chances are Mamita will always be better.

10.) Best cities for young professionals: According to Forbes D.C is number 3. And if you are a young professional, it seems like California is a good place to be. Here’s the Forbes list of the best cities for young professionals: San Jose, San Francisco, Washington, D.C; Chicago, San Diego, Riverside, Philadelphia, Houston, Phoenix and Boston.

11.) Which part of Arlington do middle class people live in? I don’t know that there’s really a “middle class” section of Arlington. Northern Arlington is the land of upwardly mobile yuppies who can afford to spend $2,000 to rent a one bedroom apartment. South Arlington is a the land of the less upwardly mobile who live in 1940 group homes with five roommates. It’s also heavily Latino if I remember correctly. There’s “affordable” housing scattered throughout Arlington (though really, is $1,200 for a crappy one bedroom really all that affordable?) but middle class? Probably not, unless you want to rent a room in a group house. And if you’re thinking of buying, the saddest, most dilapidated and not renovated townhouse probably won’t be under $500,000.

12.) Bob Perilla: I assume these searchers were looking for information about Bob Perilla, the DMV-famous bluegrass musician who shares my last name. You can read more about Bob here.

13.) Aguardiente Bogotá: All I can say is yes, if you are in Bogotá — or anywhere in Colombia for that matter — you will drink aguardiente. You will not be able to run away from aguardiente no matter how hard you try. It seems to be the only liquor Colombians believe is worth drinking. You can rest assured that many a Colombian will ask you: Te gusta el aguardiente? This isn’t really a question…it’s more like an assumption. Of course all gringos will be instantly enamored with aguardiente! Personally, despite the fact that I am full-blooded Colombian and there was always a bottle of aguardiente in my house when I was kid, I am not a fan of this licorice-flavored liquor. However, I do have to admit that aguardiente consumption resulted in many fun, unforgettable (well, except for the ones I’ve forgotten) nights of rumba y fiesta. Aguardiente is one of those liquors you have no choice but to drink straight because it is so bad you just can’t mix it with anything. You buy it by the carton in tienditas and drink it out of tiny plastic cups when you’re pre-gaming — if you order it at a bar, you’ll get an actual bottle, but it won’t taste any better. Your night will inevitably end this way: You, on the dance floor, drunkenly but happily “dancing” your little heart out and singing along to Jorge Celedon’s Que Bonita es esta Vida.

.

In case the link is taken down, just search for the song on YouTube to get an idea of how a Colombian night usually ends.

14.) Cheap Glasses Online: I blogged before about some cheap glasses I bought from eyebuydirect.com and I recently got a new $30 pair! If you don’t mind not being able to try on your glasses before buying, it’s a whole lot cheaper than buying in person.

My new glasses.

My new glasses. I’m going for a new look.



Categories: Colombia, D.C, Me, Me, Me, Search Terms

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

17 replies

  1. where do you find the search info??? I keep trying the help menus but get totally confused….

  2. I Nominate you for Bouquet of Super Awards – 27 Nominations

    please choose any 3 awards out of the 27
    accept it and oblige

    there are no linkbacks for this award

    http://ajaytao2010.wordpress.com/2013/06/24/bouquet-of-super-awards-27-nominations/

  3. Fun blog. I keep an eye on what brings people to mine. Burning Man is the all time winner. No surprise there. (grin) –Curt

  4. I believe you mean licorice-flavored liquor, not liquorish-flavored 😉

  5. #4 made me literally laugh of loud! I’m Jamaican and it never ceases to amaze me how many Caribbean men are an odd combination of machismo and mama’s boy. good (or sad?) to know we haven’t cornered the market. loving your blog :-).

  6. “Legal to wear a thong on the Shenandoah River?” Haha! Now I kind of want to know where it’s illegal to wear a thong, and how they’d find out.
    I love your glasses!

  7. What a fun post! My most read post is about trying to get rid of my treadmill, which was a bitch. Many people, every day, are out there desperately searching for how to get rid of their treadmills. There’s a business opportunity here, I’m sure of it. But that would just be another distraction from my writing.

    • Haha, another argument for NEVER buying a treadmill. Unless you happen to be that uber disciplined 1%, it’s just never going to get used. I bought one when I was living in Bogota with serious plans to use it…used it a total of once and it just sat there, staring back at me, an entire year, reminding me of my laziness.

      But you’re right…there has to be somewhere for all those old, forgotten treadmills to go!

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