Let’s start with the good news:
1.) I’m officially single. Time to get my Beyoncé on:
Seriously I’ve played this song at least 10 times today. And it made me feel like this:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am officially divorced — I’m a single lady and it feels so good. So who wants to go out this Friday? I want to be on the dance floor, taking Lil Jon’s advice:
Lesson learned: I think it’s important to learn something from every experience. What did I learn from this experience? Do not get married when socially isolated, impoverished and bored in a foreign country. It probably won’t end well. But oh well, time for a new, happier chapter in my life. As Edith Piaf would say:
(Edith Piaf — No Regrets. No one captures emotion like Edith and a bottle of red wine).
So thanks to my family and friends for all their help and support during the last eight months!
2.) Second piece of good news: I got a real job. A 9-5 job with benefits, sick leave and vacation pay. What does this mean for me? It means the end of an era. Goodbye, part-time, contract, no benefits jobs and laid back lifestyle. It also means a 90% raise. Jay-Z knows how I feel:
OK, I think I should stop posting songs now in case YouTube decides to sue me or something.
I guess this whole regular full-time job thing puts the final nail on my metaphorical nomad coffin. Does this mean I’m a grownup now? I can finally afford to go out…but I probably won’t have time to.
Now the bad news:
or this one:
Last week, one fateful day, I was feeling lazy but decided that I should just go out to Four Mile Run and go for a jog. I really, really didn’t feel like going, but I’d indulged in some 7-Eleven beef taquitos (I know I’ve talked about avoiding 7-Eleven food at all costs but those taquitos have some kind of inexplicable power over me. I’m driving past 7-Eleven and suddenly, my car is turning into the parking lot on its own). Anyway, I knew I needed to burn off some extra calories, so I took Nike’s advice and decided to just do it. Bad advice, Nike!
So there I was on Four Mile Run, getting my jog on. I don’t mind jogging at a snail’s pace around my neighborhood because I’m not trying to impress anyone — most of the people I run into in good old Centreville are either 20 years older or 20 years younger than me. But on Four-Mile Run everyone is young and fit, so I felt I had to step it up a little and run faster. And I did. Really, I had to be running at least 3 miles per hour. In fact, I was running so fast that my glasses fogged up and had no choice but to take them off and hook them into my shirt. After I could run no more (about three minutes later) I slowed down, grabbed my side and gasped for air. I could tell the sexy six-pack guy running past me was not impressed but you can only fake it for so long. So I reached for my glasses…and they weren’t there! My beloved glasses had flown off my chest at some point over the last three minutes.
At this point, I was nervous, but not yet in total despair. I decided to retrace my steps. I looked kind of like this:
(Please note…I’m not making fun of this family. Just trying to paint a visual. And as a happy side note, with physical therapy, all the siblings learned to walk on two feet).
So I was looking and looking, but it turns out that I couldn’t really see much without my glasses and to this day, they remain lost. I called the Arlington Park Administration to see if they have a lost and found, but they don’t. Is it possible my glasses are gone forever? I tried ordering an identical pair, but of course, they don’t make them anymore.
If anyone finds a pair of maroon and orange glasses, please let me know.
But despite the loss of my glasses, I feel good right now. I’m sitting at a cafe, just spent $16 on a cappuccino and a mini Quiche (gotta love Northern Virginia ), I have a week off before starting my new job, I’m officially divorced (seriously all you gringas out their who find my blog asking Google if Colombian men make good husbands — think twice. Just sayin’), I’m going to have decent health insurance in two weeks AND I can take a paid vacation in three months. Life is good.