I Think my Trainer is Trying to Kill me — But it’s Probably a Good Thing.

If you read my blog with any frequency you probably already know I go on a lot of fitness kicks, which usually last about 1.5 days until I remember how horrible exercise is and how great food is.

So this time around, I decided I needed an enforcer, someone to hold me accountable, push me and yell at me. That’s where Bao comes in. Bao, by his own account, is a formerly heavy-set fat kid who has spent the last few years “working on his body” and now resembles an Asian Arnold Schwarzenegger (’80’s Schwarzenegger, not current Schwarzenegger). Bao is really tough on me but frames it all as “positivity” and “motivation.” He says things like you got this, you can do this, blah blah blah, but in a really hardcore, personal-trainer kind of way that scares me a little. His motivational style would probably be much more effective if I were a more positive and motivated kind of person, but I’m not, which is why I hired Bao in the first place. It’s a sad state of affairs when you are paying someone almost $1 per minute to make you suffer because you’re too lazy to make yourself suffer.

Anyway, after my first meeting with Bao I couldn’t walk for five days. I wasn’t entirely sure if my knees were functioning and I kind of felt like my limbs might fall off at any moment, which is a pretty unpleasant feeling. It was like my legs were locked and natural human movement was no longer possible. I’m pretty sure I looked like a sad and confused intoxicated robot.

So now I’m wondering if it’s really worth having a personal trainer if you can only do exercise one day a week because you are in too much pain to do anything else for the rest of the week. Oh well. I’ve already paid for six sessions, so I’ll let you know if things are any better in 3-4 weeks.

Me, post-Bao. This is a figure-flattering interpretation.

Me, post-Bao. This is a figure-flattering interpretation.

Categories: Me, Me, Me, Self-improvement, Vanity

1 reply


  1. I Know my Trainer is Trying to Kill me « My (Former) Nomad Life

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: