I Know my Trainer is Trying to Kill me

I’ve been with BAO for about two weeks now. It’s been painful but I’ve been trying to “power through” (his words, not mine) and impress him to make him think I’m in far better shape than I actually am. This is one of the reasons I decided to get a male trainer rather than a female trainer…for whatever reason, I don’t think I would work as hard to impress a girl trainer. Not very P.C and progressive of me, but it is what it is. Well today Bao said, “I know we’ve been taking it kind of slow and easy these past few weeks but we’re really going to kick it into high gear next week.” And all this time I thought I was in high gear. Like the highest gear I could possibly be in. So intoxicated robot zombie walk is probably here to stay (see last post).

THE SCREAM

I get it, Edvard Munch.

In other vanity-related news, I ordered some prescription sunglasses last month because it suddenly dawned on me that there’s no reason I have to drive around/walk around in perpetual squint-mode. And there’s no reason that I have to walk around with sunglasses over my regular glasses either because that’s just not acceptable unless you’re at least 80.  I’ve been having a lot of major epiphanies ever since I turned 29. I also recently noticed a squint-related wrinkle between my eyebrows and if you know me at all, you know I can be ever so slightly vain about these things. Anyway, I’ve been eagerly anticipating the arrival of my rather pricey prescription sunglasses and yesterday was the big day. Well, I am sad to report that they are enormous and not at all what I expected. I think these glasses were made for giants with beach ball sized heads, not human beings with regular sized heads. Seriously, they take up half my face and weigh at least a pound so it’s kind of hard to keep my head from falling forward because of the weight (not really, but I want to get the point across). As my Friend Erik so kindly put it, “Are you sure those are glasses? They look more like the windshield of a small airplane. On the bright side, you’ll never need sunblock on your face.”  Here they are in all their ginormous glory:

SUNGLASSESIf I had known they were going to be so large, I would have continued wearing my $1 sunglasses over my regular glasses and saved a lot of money. I think I resemble 1990s Argentine singer La Mosca (the fly) now. What do you think?

La Mosca.

La Mosca.



Categories: Daily Life, Me, Me, Me, Random, Self-improvement, Vanity

Tags: , ,

11 replies

  1. 1. They look good on you.
    2. You don’t look like Señor La Mosca.
    3. They’re actually similar to the ones Audrey Hepburn was famous for wearing, from Breakfast at Tiffany’s . (http://harrietmagpie.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/audreyhepburn_wayfarers.png )

  2. 4. Stop making that face. You’ll freeze like that.

  3. I agree with Bill, they look great on you. 🙂

  4. And believe me, Bill is worse than your mother… just kidding 😉

  5. I don’t know if I have ever seen sunglasses that big. And Bill is funny. –Curt

Trackbacks

  1. BAO, Part III « My (Former) Nomad Life

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