A couple of months ago I was feeling down and out as I sometimes do and decided to take action, as I often do. Did I set goals or examine the meaning of life (my life at least)? No. I decided to dabble in the healing arts of the non-proven variety. A friend who was going through a tough breakup told me she went to the Reiki Center of New York and the session was so powerful and emotional that she recommended I give it a try. Always one to try (cheap) new things, I got on Groupon in search of a Reiki session and voila, two minutes later I’d purchased a $40 one-hour Reiki healing session just a couple of miles from my office.
I had no expectations for my Reiki session and I figured it was one of those things like acupuncture or yoga that maybe work, or work for some people. Maybe, I told myself, I just haven’t found the right healing/metaphysical practice! Anyway, my Reiki practitioner was a fortyish woman with long brown/grey hair split right down the middle and patterned gaucho pants. No makeup and kind of a deep, serious, in-touch-with-nature type of voice. I’ll call her Sunshine. At the beginning of the session, Sunshine explained the Reiki process and asked me if there was anything specific I wanted to work on. There was not. I told her my concerns were more existential than material/specific in nature. This seemed perfectly fine with Sunshine who likely does a lot of existential pondering of her own. She then explained to me that sometimes, when she is doing her reiki thang, images come to her mind shares these images with her clients at the end of the session.
So then Sunshine tells me to get on this little gurney type table and covers me in some kind of tribal blanket. More like wraps me like a mummy, actually. She tells me to close my eyes or do whatever I want to do with my eyes and then she tells me she’s going to start doing some Shamanic drumming. I had no idea what shamanic drumming was before trying Reiki, but it was relaxing enough. She drummed around the gurney and then she starts drumming under me which I thought was kind of weird, but then things got even weirder. She stops at each corner of the gurney, beats the drum once and begins summoning/praising the earth, wind, fire and water Gods. It was at this time that I realized that maybe the healing arts weren’t made for a moderate cynic such as myself. But I’d already paid, so I wasn’t going anywhere.
After addressing the earth gods, Sunshine started doing her thing. Except I didn’t actually feel anything happening because it turns out Reiki doesn’t involved any actual touching. It’s “energy work” so Sunshine had her hands about two inches away from my body as she attempted to expunge the bad energies from my body. Or so I think. I had my eyes closed so Sunshine could have been checking her email for all I know. But anyway, I have my eyes closed and I don’t hear or feel anything happening for 35 or 40 minutes…just me, lying on a gurney looking like a giant cradled mummy-baby and hoping Sunshine’s fingers truly have the power to cure my existential angst.
And then it’s over and Sunshine and I regroup for a post-session analysis. Sunshine tells me she knows I went “deep,” and then explains to me that several images came to her mind while she Reiki’d me. First, she saw a cherub by my heart. She asked me if I thought that meant anything. I’ve always had a pasty-complexion with pink cheeks and I’d like to consider myself pleasantly plumb in a cherub-type way, so I thought maybe Sunshine just thought I looked like a Cherub, but I didn’t want to spoil her image so I told her I had a break up a few months ago and she told me maybe the cherub was protecting my heart. Then, Sunshine told me she saw a baby doll near my right side and that she felt that she should put the baby doll on my chest, so she did. Which I didn’t know because it was an invisible baby doll and Sunshine wasn’t actually ever touching me. Sunshine seemed to think that this image was particularly significant (maybe because I am a 30-year-old childless single woman?) and looked at me expectantly after she shared the baby doll image. I find animal babies much cuter than human babies, so I told Sunshine, “Well, I’ve really wanted to get a puppy lately…” She looked very pleased by this.
And then the session ended. I walked out of Sunshine’s office with the cherub and baby doll and life immediately went back to normal. Anyone know of any other weird things I can try? I’m on a try-new-things spree.