Dating Lesson #4: Dating is Making me Fat (-ter) and D.C Men Like Farmer’s Markets

Courtesy of Clip Art.

Courtesy of Clip Art.

I’m on a fitness kick today so I might as well talk about one of the perks (free meals) and cons (weight gain) of going out on too many first dates. As with all things in my life, I was overly enthusiastic at the beginning of my online dating career. This resulted in too many dates per week. All my dates wanted to meet for dinner or lunch and within four weeks I had gained five pounds, thanks to pizza dates, hamburger dates, cheesecake dates, Thai dates and ice cream dates. Not wanting to seem like the kind of woman who obsesses over calories and eats only salads (though I really would rather order a salad), I usually try to order a “real” meal but this is turning into very real pounds — and after six months of hard work, the last thing I want to do is gain another five pounds.

I was talking to a friend who’s on the same dating site I’m on and she recently realized she probably isn’t going to meet the love of her life online — and I have to admit I kind of feel the same way. Not necessarily because I think the Internet if full of jerks and weirdos (though to be honest, there do seem to be a disproportionate amount of these online…I would love to publish some of the messages I’ve gotten!) but because it’s just not a very natural way to meet people. You basically exchange a few messages with someone and then go on an (almost) blind date and a couple quick decisions are made: 1.) Do you want to see him again? 2.) Does he want to see you again? 3.) Do your opinions of each other coincide? In real life things are a little different: Maybe you hang out as a group for a while, you’re friends for a bit or you reconnect after a while — in any case, you usually have a little more time to make judgments or to let a person grow on you.

So  I’ve decided to go on no more than one date a week. And next time someone I’m interested in wants to meet up, I’m going to suggest coffee. I’m doing this for two reasons: 1.) I want to make my best effort to eat healthy and reach my weight goal this summer and 2.) Coffee is less pressure than dinner. With a coffee date, you have the choice of cutting things short or drawing things out. With dinner, you’re kind of locked in for at least an hour. And sometimes you really, really don’t want to be committed for a full hour.

In other non-food related dating updates, I’ve made the following observations about the typical D.C single guy: 

Most of the guys I go out with have a least a Master’s degree and most have some kind of fancy-sounding job description. The vast majority are into fitness (mostly jogging and biking — The WO&D Trail is huge) and a signficant amount of consideration appears to go into restaurant selection. I’ve inferred that large chain restaurants are a no-no in this town. The top two employers are the government and private contractors. Conversation often centers on recent travels (I’ve yet to meet up with a guy who hasn’t traveled abroad) and his/your career.  Talk of a “great new” restaurants is common, as is talk of wineries, local hikes, farmer’s markets and yes, sometimes politics, though politics talk has been surprisingly absent from most of my first dates. There don’t seem to be all that many Republicans in D.C.  Or maybe that’s just my filtering power at work. The typical D.C single guy, for the most part, appears to be relatively well off, a fan of red wine and craft beer, outwardly confident, relatively well-dressed and originally from somewhere else. And most seem to be somewhere between guyhood and manhood (not a boy, not yet a man…thanks Britney Spears), though this may be more characteristic of our generation than D.C men in particular.

To read more about my D.C dating adventures, click here.

Categories: D.C, D.C Culture, D.C Dating Scene

Tags: , , , , , ,

6 replies

  1. We have a bunch of friends who are married or have been in serious long term relationships who met online. Be positive-I think it sounds neat to meet so many people this way. I can only imagine some of the crazy/creepy things people say through messaging though! I have noticed people aren’t talking about politics as much recently. I’m also thinking its one of those conversations that people don’t bring up when meeting someone for the first time. Good luck on the next date-hope its a good one!!!

    • Thanks Megan! It has been neat and fun. I’ve had mostly pretty good dates. At the very least it’s been a good and fun way to meet all kinds of different people.

    • P.S …. What site did they use? Maybe I’m on the wrong one? I received the following message the other day: “Hey, I saw your profile and thought I should say Hi! Just to be up-front, I’m a married guy looking for a bit of a fling, hopefully with someone friendly and fun to be around. My apologies if you’re not at all interesed in this.” While I appreciate his honesty and apology, some poor woman probably thinks she’s married to a nice, normal guy and here he is looking for a fling with someone friendly and fun! I guess you never really know a person….

      Anyway, I wouldn’t usually make public a message, but I thought this guy deserved it.

  2. It has been my experience that once you stop looking – thats about the time that someone finds you! So just keep working towards your goals and when the time is right for you – it will happen!


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